Monday, November 23, 2009

happy birthday.


(i love that one, everything applies except for the burning touch of your fingertips.. more of a couple thing i would say haha :p)

don't know why i'm still afraid, if you weren't real i would make you up, now.
i wish that i could follow through, i know that your love is true and deep, as the sea.
but right now everything you want is wrong,
and right now all your dreams are waking up
and right now i wish i could follow you,
to the shores of freedom where no one lives.

basically this is an all graphics/quotes post to celebrate your birthday. =]
i love you.








Tuesday, November 17, 2009

remember darling all the while, you belong to me.


those pictures remind me of summer.
lazy days, laying in the grass and of course alice in wonderland.
i want that back so badly especially now.
this week has been craziness already, so much stuff due and things to catch up on. so much to keep up with. i know i can do it, but sometimes i don't think i can.
its just that its so easy to lose myself in summer, you know?
even now i could spend an hour in my dreamland in my summer, reliving everything, being with you and in the sun and splashing in the waves with tara and shannon and being so free.
it's like being back at school chains you.
summer is endless, its limitless. you can do whatever you want.
i suree can't go out on a school night and do whatever i want to do, can i?
its that freedom that i crave, what i find myself wanting every time something's assigned or due, every time someone does something stupid that i could just avoid if it was summer.

i feel like we are summer soulmates in a way, you really understand how much i want it back because you want it back too, maybe even more than i do.
i need to start physically counting down the days like on a calendar or something haha.

there's so many places i want to be right now.
summer, my lake house in maine, california.
i just need to push past all the stress and remind myself ill be back there someday hopefully soon. thats what you need to do too my dear!
andd i cannot wait to make more summer memories. :]

Wednesday, November 4, 2009

dream catch me when i fall.



i'm seriously in love with the olsen twins. they are so beautiful.
and i love that third graphic, it completely reminds me of you.
gah school today was so, so long. it seemed like it would never end.
but i kept thinking about the weekend and taking pictures and being with you and shan and friends and being happy and it made me feel soo much better =]

i just love graphics, you know? they make me feel things. like when i saw that kitten picture beloww this, i was like AWWWW. and certain ones remind me of people, usually you, and some remind me of my life or the life i used to have, or the one i want. they mean something different to each person that looks at them. thats why i love them.

Monday, November 2, 2009

freedom.


this weekend was unbelievably amazing.
on friday night they did a skit, and at the end, a girl had a dance with a guy who was representing the devil and evil and such.
and i thought it was amazing, because he would hold her hand and pick her up and then smash her to the ground and she always crawled back to him.
and i could see myself in her.

and then the second night, with the second skit where the person was being beaten down (literally) by demons and someone representing Christ was screaming at him to get up, to keep fighting. and after that we all started to pray and we were shaking and crying and the youth pastor is screaming GET UP! KEEP FIGHTING! don't let go.

it was so intense you know? me and tara were just crying and holding each other and it was just letting go, getting rid of everything in our lives that was holding us back from being completely real and completely us and one with God.
and then we sang the freedom anthem.
which was just singing like "ill sing in your freedom, dance in your freedom, live in your freedom" and then the word "freedom" over and over again. and everyone was crying, standing or kneeling with their hands in the air. and then there was this one part that said:
"i'm not a failure.
i'm victorious.
i'm not a disappointment
i'm a warrior."
and then we all screamed, literally screamed, "i'm not a failure."
and it all rang so true and was so amazing. it changed my life.
God wrecked us and completely rebuilt us.
i'm so incredibly blessed that i was able to be at the retreat.
i have a feeling none of us will be the same ever again. we already are different.
it's just awesome.
i feel so happy.
i love it!