and i'll do anything you ever dreamed to be complete.

it needs to stop raining. 

seriously, i'm sick of my hair frizzing, and my umbrella freaking out and not helping me at all, and wet papers and slippery steps. 

i'm even sicker of the depressed feeling i get looking out the window. its like the sky is crying. or God's crying. which coupled with the fact that im in school and not at home, bundled up with a book, makes me want to SOB !! 

and that bob dylan quote, is so amazing, i'm probably going to use it again sometime, because it's so true. 

even when it's sunny outside there's something behind that. 

it's not always perfect. 

everyone has been strange. except for you and shan, haha.

matt is being really weird. 

sarah's drifting, and i miss her.

i NEED them. not so much matt but sarah? sarah's like, my arm. i need her so bad.

and do you ever get the feeling that something big is going to happen soon? something that you won't see coming, but will have the power to completely knock you off your feet? 

i always remember, "it's the things you don't see coming that are strong enough to kill you," and i kind of am getting this vibe right now, and my vibes don't lie. 

am i the only one feeling it? 

maybe it's just pentup energy from being inside all week during the rain. 

maybe it's just.. 

idk. 

it was we who were the cliche, but we carried on anyway.

gah its been forever since ive postedd. i've been too lazy and uninspired :p

so basically

i don't know what i want. 

that first graphic is about. matt. ugh. ugh. ugh. not only him i guess but just other people in my life right now.

i feel really distant right now from some people. like matt assures people that he's fine with me but then like we never really talk, it always feels weird, i always feel eh, idk. 

and sarah. i miss her. like the graphic i posted before (one graphic post? :p) i'm (WE'RE) losing her, and i really would give my soul to have her back. you know that. i'd do the same for you and shannon, god forbid one of you left. 

and next time we have a hangout with you and gar and shan. idk. it feels really awk when holly's there. i love her, she's so nice, but she and gar and shan are like the three musketeers, and you and gar are you knoww :p, and im completely on the outside. its really uncomfortable feeling. 

and the second graphic is basically

story of my life? :p

i never feel wanted or needed or whatever. that song is so me, 

" i want you to want me, i need you to need me, i'd love you to love me, i'm begging you to beg me" 

I HATE feeling like that because it makes me so like 

dependent

vulnerable

desperate

insecure

failure.

so i'm ranting. 

the mind of a crazy person. 

named.

anja katherine. 

haha :p 

who loves you :] 

i don't shine if you don't shine.

yayyy. 

last night. was so fun. 

it was fun watching slumdog even tho i fell asleep, haha. 

and it was super super super fun hearing about you and gar. 

and of course being with you and shan bc like your my sisters? haha. 

im really happy for you. i know that you don't really know how you feel about him, but like, this is good. if you're happy, i'm happy, always. don't forgett that. 

springbreak. yes. i am so happy, so excited. i can't wait to have fun and be with friends like as much as possible, even tho i am going to miss shan like crazyyyyyyy. i wish she didn't have to go. i wish no one ever had to go. it's been so weird figuring out the group now, temporary 'replacements' and like what's happened to who we've lost but i think last night proved that it's going to be okay, you know? we're all best friends. we love each other. you can't seperate that, you know? things will change and shift and it's okay. it's all part of the plan. we can't worry about it. 

as long as i'm with you, it's all going to be okay. i love you, and shan, and everyone. so much. <3