if you're going, well i wanna go there too.

aelhrbljhwer

wow.

i really and truly didn't expect to have fun at camp.

seriously? 8 hours of field hockey a day. waking up at like 6 30 in the morning. PAIN.

awesome roommates. new friends. great food :p greater memories.

i wish i had taken pictures. but we were always gross and sweaty? :p

and now im going through the campsickness 

because it's happened before, and the worst is when you forget what they look like. 

absolute worst feeling EVERR. or one of the worst. so i keep like replaying stuff in my head so i'll remember. 

what a good start to the summer. 

i can't wait to hang out with you and shan. 

i can't wait to live life. carefree. and happy :] 

and i'm really excited about what's to come, and i don't know what will, but something will and i hope its good!! :D 

alehjrbjelhr

ill write more later

just had to get this out.

 :]

every second counts, cause there's no second tries. so live like you're never living twice.

goals for this summer, summer 2009. 

~ spend as much time possible with you and shannon.

~ spend time with tons of my friends, for that matter. baxter, and lindsay, and alex, and everyone.

~ have no regrets.

~ do something i never would expect myself to do, or that no one would expect me to do.

~ have an amazing time, with a certain boy. you know who. 

~ feel better about myself.

~ get a tan !! :]

~ i think you and me and shan should take a day trip, or two day trip somewhere. just like a little getaway, anywhere. beach maybe? i don't care. that would just bee so fun. 

~ borders days.

~ exercise more for a better preseason. 

~ make new friends. 

~ don't lose touch with people like i usually do. 

~ never lose hope. in myself, and in the things around mee.

~ try breathing once in a while instead of stressing out. 

and.. to have a summer i'll never forget. 

I'm don't know why it's not so clear, but I feel I've known you for years, laughing cause we've got nothing to lose.

last night was really, really fun.

i didn't really expect to have fun, honestly.

i basically thought i was just gonna hang around on the outside feeling fat? haha.

but for some reason last night i didn't feel self concious. except my bathing suit bottoms almost fell off a few times, but it's okay, haha.

i felt includedd. and just happy. happy to be a part of things. happy to finally have amazing friends who were all together. happy to finally do things on friday nights. 

if that was the start of summer, i'm really excited ! 

and tar and linds had a blast. i'm so glad. i love them so much and i'm really glad everyone totally got along! it was so cool to have everyone together. except for like egan and the random guys who disappeared like the whole party? am i the only one who noticed that? haha :p

except for the creeps we didnt know, i got along with everyonee! except when i called ao "gayo" :p i couldn't resistt! and now he probably hates me more but whateverr.

even when gar was being sucha weirdo i was like gar just stop. no one wants to see you dancing like that. and hes like i love you anjaa! i was like love you tooo! haha. idk that just made me feel better like he actually doesn't hate me. 

i always automatically think people hate me, haha. they usually dont,

except for gay-o :p

the only bad thingg is i have like a cold. my nose is stuffy and i've been coughing but it's not horrible. 

i really miss you.

i want to hear all about your night.

you need to blog again, asap.

i love youu. forever. :]

My hands are shaking, time was never on our side, and there's no such thing as a beautiful goodbye.

so interesting weekend so farr.

besides the whole you know what thing, the campout was so much fun.

i like really bonded with everyone, especially everyone besides you and shan, duh. 

mr. you know who, hasn't called my parents yet. 

i just can't wait for that? 

but i actually think everything is going to be okay.

we have a day off tomorrow, so we can just relaxxxx. im definitely going to sleep late. 

if anything, this has kind of made me realize, that i never want to lose you. 

it sounds kind of weird i guess, but now that we can't talk/hangout with him, it's made me think and like it's not going to be so bad i guess since we never even talk anyway, but i can't even imagine not talking to you, and not hanging out with you, or shannon, or both of you. it would make me so depressed. i couldn't handle that. 

and like looking back and seeing that in those first really scary moments, we were there for each other, you know? i was holding your hand and michele's hand and then we just prayed together, and like that really formed a bondd. those are the kinds of people who don't leave, and i can only hope that you won't leave, and that shan won't leave. and i know you won't. 

whichh is the best feeling ever, bc i can trust you and tell you everything. 

i love you 

and everything with this is going to turn out okay. 

:D