don't think you know how far i'm gonna go..

blah its been forever!! i'm finally feeling better for once after being sick for what seems like forever :[ 

basically whenever something went away i got something else, haha. i stopped throwing up, and got a horrible stuffy nose. i stopped having stomach pain, and now i have a scratchy thoat. but whatever it must mean that im at the end of this!! hahhah. one can only hope. 

so originally i was really bummed that i couldnt do anything last night. but i mean i definitely had to stay home and rest i wasn't feeling great at all. and sar told me that kess' house was boring anyway, so i'm glad i didn't miss anything huge.

its just, i hate missing things. parties, events, school. 

i feel like if i don't go, that'll be the one time that something big will happen. and that it'll just be a thousand inside jokes and references that i won't be a part of and it'll slowly drive everyone away from me. i honestly believe that and its so frustrating. because everyone's like shut up thats not true! but i really feel like i have to go to everything because if i don't my friendship/s will be in jeopardy or something! i hate feeling that way. 

i miss my friends so much!! maggie i miss you insanely much. and i miss sarah too. i just miss seeing everyone and laughing like it's no fun watching a movie by yourself and laughing by yourself! i just can't wait to see everyone on monday (knock on wood that i keep feeling better!)

soo yeahh this post doesn't really have a point. it's just a little rambling, haha. 

but i guess in all i just want to be back to normal and have my life back again because i miss it. a lot. <3