but, my god, it's so beautiful when the boy smiles.

so my day actually wasn't that bad. 

until. the window incident.

maggie. you know what im talking about, haha.

he probably thinks im such a freak. like literally i probably was dancing around with my hair in my face and screaming and waving my arms in the air like a total idiot. 

and it doesnt matter that everyone else was because shan said he looked around like he was looking for me, and just looked at me for like a minute and left. 

i hate him for making me worry about this!! i hate that i let myself worry about stupid things!! 

but i mean who i am i kidding i dont hate him i probably never could. 

that totally reminded me of the amazing poem at the end of 10 things i hate about you (fav movie right theree. love you heath <3).>

I hate the way you talk to me, 
and the way you cut your hair.
I hate the way you drive my car, 
I hate it when you stare. 

I hate your big dumb combat boots 
and the way you read my mind. 
I hate you so much it makes me sick,
it even makes me rhyme. 

I hate the way you’re always right, 
I hate it when you lie. 
I hate it when you make me laugh,
even worse when you make me cry. 

I hate it when you’re not around, 
and the fact that you didn’t call. 
But mostly I hate the way I don’t hate you, 
not even close…
not even a little bit… 

not even at all.